One of Mr. Hard-Worker's (HW) co-workers was "let go" the other day. I was sure his being fired had to do with the state of our economy. When I questioned my husband about it, he said his co-worker wasn't doing his job. My thoughts, however, are maybe he thought he was doing his job and the powers that be kept changing his responsibilities. Of course, with HW being the primary bread winner of the family, he and I are both concerned about the stability of his job. He works long, arduous hours during the week and it's not unusual for him to put some time in on the weekends. Even with all of that, there is no guarantee he won't be let go. Consequently, he has lost sleep over the worry. I try to tell him that there isn't any point in worrying because he doesn't have any control over it. Easy to say not easy to do, though.
An update regarding Computer Boy (CB). I asked him why he didn't use the bathroom and he said he was working. He was doing math which he enjoys, so he probably didn't want to stop what he was doing. Since this wasn't his first "accident", I think I may speak to K's son. He is a psychologist and may have a few thoughts about CB. Then again, he's not a children's psychologist, so he may refer me to someone else. But, it doesn't hurt to ask. In case you're wondering, K is not the person who upset me, while she is opinionated, she knows when to "back off". Oh, and by the way, J (the out-spoken friend), brought up CB's issues and the incident again. I didn't answer and got very quiet until I could change the topic (which may be the way to handle her). I think she got the message because she didn't bring it up again. Whoo-hoo! Honestly, I hope CB's problem is just a maturity issue and nothing else, but if there is anything else going on. I will get to the bottom of it.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Back to normal?
All has returned to normal, at least I like to think so.
On Monday my husband went back to work. My children are back at school. They started back today. I took Monkey Girl to Pre-K and then to the library for a pre-school program. She loved it. The Head Children's Librarian searches for a variety of programs for the children's enrichment. The program that was offered today was one that Monkey Girl hadn't been to yet. She loved the singing and the dancing. She adored the parachute, making the craft and playing with toys. The only thing she didn't get to do (during the hour) was try out the play doh. This is not a big deal, I have play doh at home. She had a great time.
After school and the library she and I came home and I made lunch. At 2 PM I managed to put her in for a nap. Mind you, with all the "stuff' going on last week and a playdate over here yesterday, she really hasn't napped for the better part of a week. Somehow, even with the tears, she fell asleep. Unfortunately this nap was to be short-lived. I got a call from the school nurse, Computer Boy (well, there's just no better way to say it) pooped in his pants. She wanted to know if I was going to pick him up or just bring a change of clothes. I replied that I didn't know until I spoke to him. He's had gastro-intestinal issues regarding his bowels and is under doctor's care. However, I KNOW my son and there was a chance that with having six days off from school and he was probably tired of working.
Folks, I was right. He was hoping to come home and play on the computer. When I told him, in no uncertain terms that there would be no computer today (at all), he decided he'd stay at school. In addition, if I let him come home early, I'd be rewarding him for having "accidents". Frankly, this is not the first visit to school for this issue I've made and it's time he's learned that it's not ok to ignore your body and what it needs to do. Computer Boy has made a little progress in this area but lately he's been lax, so I need to stand my ground. Various people (friends and two of my sisters) have voiced opinions regarding his issues, but seriously unless they're a medical professional I'm not listening anymore. This is something that he can't be punished for (well, not entirely), in time, he will learn and everything will fall into place. The boy is on the autistic spectrum and my husband and I are doing whatever we can to help him. So, to my friends and family, unless you have something constructive (and, by constructive - I mean positive) to say, then don't say anything at all. I don't wish any of this on my worst enemy, but until you live a day in my shoes, you have no idea what I've been through and have no right to comment.
As I re-read the last paragraph, I thought well, it's not really that bad. But, it is. My son is not the problem. He's made great strides this year and continues to grow. He's a sweet boy who is kind and generous. The problem here is their supposed well-meaning comments. They have a way of making me feel, well like a bad mother, that I'm not doing enough for him or I'm doing too much. What I need to do is figure out a nice way of changing the conversation without being rude or nasty. I know I said I didn't want advice, but you guys are different. You're kind, thoughtful and truly care about others. So, if you have any thoughts or ideas, please let me know.
On Monday my husband went back to work. My children are back at school. They started back today. I took Monkey Girl to Pre-K and then to the library for a pre-school program. She loved it. The Head Children's Librarian searches for a variety of programs for the children's enrichment. The program that was offered today was one that Monkey Girl hadn't been to yet. She loved the singing and the dancing. She adored the parachute, making the craft and playing with toys. The only thing she didn't get to do (during the hour) was try out the play doh. This is not a big deal, I have play doh at home. She had a great time.
After school and the library she and I came home and I made lunch. At 2 PM I managed to put her in for a nap. Mind you, with all the "stuff' going on last week and a playdate over here yesterday, she really hasn't napped for the better part of a week. Somehow, even with the tears, she fell asleep. Unfortunately this nap was to be short-lived. I got a call from the school nurse, Computer Boy (well, there's just no better way to say it) pooped in his pants. She wanted to know if I was going to pick him up or just bring a change of clothes. I replied that I didn't know until I spoke to him. He's had gastro-intestinal issues regarding his bowels and is under doctor's care. However, I KNOW my son and there was a chance that with having six days off from school and he was probably tired of working.
Folks, I was right. He was hoping to come home and play on the computer. When I told him, in no uncertain terms that there would be no computer today (at all), he decided he'd stay at school. In addition, if I let him come home early, I'd be rewarding him for having "accidents". Frankly, this is not the first visit to school for this issue I've made and it's time he's learned that it's not ok to ignore your body and what it needs to do. Computer Boy has made a little progress in this area but lately he's been lax, so I need to stand my ground. Various people (friends and two of my sisters) have voiced opinions regarding his issues, but seriously unless they're a medical professional I'm not listening anymore. This is something that he can't be punished for (well, not entirely), in time, he will learn and everything will fall into place. The boy is on the autistic spectrum and my husband and I are doing whatever we can to help him. So, to my friends and family, unless you have something constructive (and, by constructive - I mean positive) to say, then don't say anything at all. I don't wish any of this on my worst enemy, but until you live a day in my shoes, you have no idea what I've been through and have no right to comment.
As I re-read the last paragraph, I thought well, it's not really that bad. But, it is. My son is not the problem. He's made great strides this year and continues to grow. He's a sweet boy who is kind and generous. The problem here is their supposed well-meaning comments. They have a way of making me feel, well like a bad mother, that I'm not doing enough for him or I'm doing too much. What I need to do is figure out a nice way of changing the conversation without being rude or nasty. I know I said I didn't want advice, but you guys are different. You're kind, thoughtful and truly care about others. So, if you have any thoughts or ideas, please let me know.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Almost done
Please excuse me if I ramble or if this post is gibberish. I'm "done" from the past few days.
In the midst of Holy Week (and for me, this is the busiest time of year), my husband and I decided to paint the girls' bedroom. He had vacation time left over from last year and already lost a couple of days and was in danger of losing the remaining 5 days. Of course, the first few days he had off, we were cleaning out the room and, to be honest, moving slowly through the process. Then, as the week wore on, we got closer to our goal. Having the room ready and empty enough to paint. Oy! My husband started painting Wednesday. Yes, I said he started painting on Wednesday. The thing about Wednesday is that it's the beginning of my singing for me the next 5 days in a row. I have a lot of responsibilities at church this week. It begins with Holy Thursday continues Good Friday and Holy Saturday and finally ends with Easter Sunday. I said five days in a row, well it technically starts with a marathon and a monster of a rehearsal on Wednesday night. This is one week where it's not unusual for me to be out of the house for 4-6 hours at a time every day/night. Consequently, I did not do any painting.
Due to the fact, I didn't want my daughters to inhale the paint fumes, the girls were temporarily moved into Computer Boy's room. Monkey girl hasn't had a good night's sleep since she's been in there. It's an adjustment that she simply didn't make. It's understandable, she still sleeps in a crib and since that was too difficult to move, she was using a toddler bed mattress on the floor. So, she'd get up and look for me or my husband. She'd climb into my son's bed and "visit" him. (I did say she was a monkey.) Now the room is finished (a very pretty lilac color) and everyone can go back to their proper sleeping arrangements. Good. I can use a decent night's sleep.
Meanwhile, I still have two days of singing to go. The bulk of my responsibility is yet to come--Saturday night at the Easter Vigil. I am fortunate enough to have the opportunity to spread my wings as a musician and challenge myself in the process. Very cool, yet demanding and exhausting and nerve-racking too.
Happy Easter everyone!
In the midst of Holy Week (and for me, this is the busiest time of year), my husband and I decided to paint the girls' bedroom. He had vacation time left over from last year and already lost a couple of days and was in danger of losing the remaining 5 days. Of course, the first few days he had off, we were cleaning out the room and, to be honest, moving slowly through the process. Then, as the week wore on, we got closer to our goal. Having the room ready and empty enough to paint. Oy! My husband started painting Wednesday. Yes, I said he started painting on Wednesday. The thing about Wednesday is that it's the beginning of my singing for me the next 5 days in a row. I have a lot of responsibilities at church this week. It begins with Holy Thursday continues Good Friday and Holy Saturday and finally ends with Easter Sunday. I said five days in a row, well it technically starts with a marathon and a monster of a rehearsal on Wednesday night. This is one week where it's not unusual for me to be out of the house for 4-6 hours at a time every day/night. Consequently, I did not do any painting.
Due to the fact, I didn't want my daughters to inhale the paint fumes, the girls were temporarily moved into Computer Boy's room. Monkey girl hasn't had a good night's sleep since she's been in there. It's an adjustment that she simply didn't make. It's understandable, she still sleeps in a crib and since that was too difficult to move, she was using a toddler bed mattress on the floor. So, she'd get up and look for me or my husband. She'd climb into my son's bed and "visit" him. (I did say she was a monkey.) Now the room is finished (a very pretty lilac color) and everyone can go back to their proper sleeping arrangements. Good. I can use a decent night's sleep.
Meanwhile, I still have two days of singing to go. The bulk of my responsibility is yet to come--Saturday night at the Easter Vigil. I am fortunate enough to have the opportunity to spread my wings as a musician and challenge myself in the process. Very cool, yet demanding and exhausting and nerve-racking too.
Happy Easter everyone!
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