Friday, December 11, 2009

Resolved

In my last post, I wrote about my son's speech teacher (Mrs. D) and how she began our parent-teacher conference inappropriately.

Personally, I don't like confrontations, never have. My stomach gets all twisted and knotted inside and I cannot eat. I have to make an effort to focus on tasks. But, I knew I had to do something about that comment. I left her a note asking her to call me. When she returned the call, I was not home and she sounded puzzled as if she had no idea why I wanted to speak with her. The ball was then in my court and I placed a call to her. After trying to reach the teacher, the school secretary took a message. Finally, last Friday morning, she and I spoke. I wanted to go in and meet with her face to face. However, she pushed the issue and I had no choice but to speak with her then. Thinking about the situation, it didn't matter if we spoke in person or not. I started off by saying, my son has made wonderful progress in his speech and articulation. I added that my son also initiates conversation, whereas he never did before. Then, I added, but I want to help your relationship with him and his relationship with you. Up until that moment, I had no idea how I would handle the problem. She had to have had a "heads up" because when it was her turn, she apologized profusely and admitted she should have found another word for "whining". I wanted to say, "Well, yeah, ya think?" but, I retrained myself. She told me that he plays nicely with the other children in the session and how he helps them with certain things. Mrs. D. continued our conversation with her admitting she was wrong and thanking me for speaking with her directly about this. Seriously, I could have gone to the principal with this, but I chose not to. I truly believe in going through the proper channels and "telling on her" would not have solved anything. In fact, (while it is unlikely) it could have made the situation worse for my son.

I'm not one to give myself a pat on the back, but I did for this one. I showed Mrs. D. I was looking out for the best interests of my son and proved that I wouldn't be walked on and take comments such as the one she used. All the while using appropriate language and teaching her that even parents can be professional.

13 comments:

LceeL said...

Well done you. Exactly the right way.

Natalie said...

Yay! I am SO proud of you. That would have been REALLY difficult.Go you!xx♥

Suzanne said...

You already told me about this, but YOU ARE AWESOME for advocating for Computer Boy!

Tara R. said...

Sounds like you handled the problem perfectly.

Joyce-Anne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joyce-Anne said...

Lceel- Thank you, Lou. She was wrong and had to be told (nicely) that she was. I hope she never says that to anyone's child every again.

Natalie- Thank you Nat. It was difficult and I was nervous, but fortunately, for me, the right words came at the right time.

Suzanne- Thank you, my friend. We are our children's best advocates.

Tara- Thank you. I'm glad she was responsive. I'm happier that I was rational and calm while speaking with her.

Ji said...

Hello:

I understand the headache you have when a teacher of your loved son failed to communicate with you or him effectively or appropriately...
Proud of yourself for working it out!

http://www.jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com

Holly at Tropic of Mom said...

You're brave and such a good mama.

Joyce-Anne said...

Ji- Thanks for stopping by. I'm glad I did it.

Holly aToM- Whew! I'm glad it's over.

Momisodes said...

I am so proud of you. Although I'm sure it was incredibly stressful (I know I would have been), I certainly handled the situation very well. Kudos to you mom :)

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